You never complained about getting nothing before.
[ They threw a different kind of party on Mick's birthday. One of their few traditions.
Nothing stayed the same over thirty years. Needs and wants changed. Sometimes it was enough just to be together. Sometimes it wasn't. They'd only gotten more stubborn and set in their ways as they'd gotten older. More flexible in some regards and less flexible in others.
He crosses his legs and glances away. They'd never had to discuss this before. There's no drunkenly kissing your friend when you've got no friends to kiss. ]
[ Since Leonard looks away, he doesn't get to see Mick's shoulders even out with his surprise. ]
...Huh.
[ Sure, he'd come in last night to find his teammates good and sauced up. He hadn't thought a whole hell of a lot about it considering they'd had drinks as a group before without any incidents ( sans that one time they took pictures of unconscious, topless Ray - but that was different ) and he considered both of the other men lightweights.
Mick straightens up once more, leaning back to observe his partner. His brow furrows. ]
Ok.
[ It was a tone best described as wary, and invited more from the other man. It was almost as if they were about to perform another job after a long, long dry spell. He was waiting for Snart to tell him how things were going to be. ]
[ It wasn't like they told each other everything. They didn't have to. Only what was important. Necessary.
If Ray had been anyone else it wouldn't have mattered. What was a fling compared to a partnership? If who they slept with could make or break their relationship they would've been over by their twenties. Mick couldn't leave a bar without a bloody knuckles, a hundred dollar tab and a floozy on his arm.
Leonard was pickier. His tastes more refined, or at least more discriminate. Once in a while he'd find somebody worth his time, if only for ten minutes or a night. Definitely not the next morning. He wasn't in the business of making breakfast for people whose names he wouldn't remember without his eidetic memory.
Except he'd woken up beside Ray. Knows Ray. Cares about Ray, despite his best attempts to not give a shit if Ray shrunk into a speck of dust and lost himself in a couch cushion. Ray Palmer was a flea you couldn't get rid of.
He uncrosses his legs and crosses them again, resting an elbow on his knee and his chin on the back of his hand. ]
I wanted to take his mind off it. Do him a favour. I owe him one.
[ He doesn't think he has to point out that there were ways of taking someone's mind off of their pain that didn't involve kissing them.
If it were anyone else but Ray, it wouldn't have mattered. They've both been around the block over the years, enough to know where home is. But it is Ray, which makes it significant, and Mick is doing his best not to look as threatened as he feels. It's not working out very well for him. ]
[ They hadn't gone any farther than that. Just that kiss. Long and deep and better than it should have been.
He looks up Mick. It crosses his mind to lie to him. Pull a fast one. Say and do whatever it takes to smother the flames behind Mick's eyes before the fire starts, but they know each other too well. There's no lying to or running from Mick. They've been together too long.
Leonard's tried to leave before, when it got bad. When it felt like anyone and anywhere would be better, Safer, than being with Mick. It never stuck. The grass is always greener when your lawn is burnt to a crisp, but home is home.
Mick's nostrils flare. It's nothing he didn't expect to hear, but it isn't exactly thrilling. How quickly high regard for someone could plummet with the right push; it left a sour taste in the back of his throat like curdled milk, or bile. He swallows, giving a rough little grunt as a way of acknowledgement while his eyes find a place on the wall above Leonard's head to stare at.
His skin begins to prickle with heat, as does his imagination. The table is all too near and easy to flip. Then Mick inhales slowly through his nose, holds his breath for a few beats, and exhales. Sometimes anger collars him and drags him through all kinds of horrors, while other days he's the one holding the leash. Today turns out to be the latter case, though it doesn't mean the feelings leave him.
It just means Mick's capable of keeping his arms crossed as he rounds the table and passes Leonard on the way to the bathroom. It may not, however, save the door from rattling on the hinges when he shuts it. ]
[Leonard knows better than to follow him. If Mick is putting space between them there's a reason for it. He waits until there's a door between Mick's fist and his face before going after him.]
Ray's done more for us than anyone else ever has. He's the closest thing we've ever had to a-
[He can't quite bring himself to say it. Putting words to what he feels for Ray makes it real. Tangible.
Something that can be mocked, broken and leveraged. Held as a hostage. Wielded like a weapon.]
[ A wordless snarl answers Leonard from behind the door, followed by the sound of the shower cutting on at full blast. The washer door bangs against the wall as it's flipped open – and as the steel toe of a boot collides with its hull somewhere. ]
[ The door isn't locked, and he could pick it if it was, but it doesn't hurt to let Mick let off some steam. As long as that steam doesn't turn into smoke, Leonard isn't worried.
He heaves a sigh Mick can't hear and makes himself comfortable against the door. ]
Cause you can't just go over there and beat his ass.
[ Mick barks at him through the door. It's only a few seconds more and a couple footsteps of warning before he's yanking it open, possibly sending his partner sprawling. He's down his jacket and his shirts, but he's still got his gloves on. On of them reaches to try and snag Snart by his collar. ]
Was that what you were counting on when you did it?
[ His eyes are widened, beginning to fill with some light of madness. ]
Think I've gone soft over some stacked, do-good poindexter because he's nice to us? You're the one that told me he'd sacrifice himself for a stranger.
[He's barely stumbled back before Mick is yanking him forward. It's easy to forget how big Mick is until he's roaring down into your face, one of those giant mitts just an inch away from grabbing you by the throat. His partner has a good fifty pounds of muscle on him. They might be around the same height, but Mick is almost twice as wide. He could wrap one hand around both of Leonard's wrists.
Leonard doesn't dare look away. His eyes are bright and clear. A little wet. He can't help the grit to his voice, his throat is tight and thick.]
There was no plan, Mick. No one's stuck around this long. I don't have a contingency for this.
[He closes his fingers around the bulk of Mick's forearm. Not pushing, or squeezing- just holding. Grounding.]
All I know is he's been there for me, for us, and I'm sick of feeling like I owe him something. He chose us. Maybe we should think about choosing him.
[ There's no softening to Mick's look as he stares down those welling eyes, but he doesn't make any further displays of aggression once those long fingers shape his arm, either. ]
By screwing him. You think that'll put us all on even ground...
[ He has no hang-ups when it comes to putting things more bluntly. Of course, now that Leonard has put the idea into his head, Mick can't help but at least begin to imagine it, lowering his gaze and canting his head. It only gets as far as Ray daring to touch his partner back before the pulse in his ears gets too loud and he's growling in the back of his throat, gaze honing back in on his partner.
His hand moves from Leonard's collar and catches that pale throat, sharp and strong enough to hold the other in place but not quite restricting his airway just yet. ]
No.
[ It wasn't as if Mick had any more experience than Leonard when it came to forming real attachments, or any further ideas regarding a solution. He just had a feeling that this wasn't bound to be the same single-use escapade either of them were used to finding outside of the other. Beyond that had nothing to do with reasoning and everything to do with reaffirming what was his. He has to put his foot down.
Before Len can think to argue, his hotheaded partner lowers his head and simultaneously drags him by the throat into a kiss, as rough as it is claiming. ]
[ He doesn't have time to respond. Mick's hand is hot and heavy against the cool skin of Leonard's throat, callused thumb pressing into his jugular. He swallows. Mick can feel the bob of his adam's apple against his palm.
He doesn't think that. After all he owes Ray, one fuck won't make them even. It isn't about the sex. Not really. Mick knows that. It's what neither of them wants to admit to.
That they're not alone anymore. It's not about opening up the bedroom, it's about opening up their hearts- what's left of them. They've fought long and hard to protect those few, damaged pieces that remain. Leonard's frozen. Mick's burned.
Friends aren't something they do. Until Ray, Leonard hadn't thought he was capable of caring for anyone other than Mick and Lisa. His family. His everything. Didn't think he had enough love left for himself, never mind someone he'd only known for a few months. Just a blink of an eye, compared to his thirty something years of Mick.
His heart is pounding too hard. Like it always does before something goes wrong. Leonard's got a sixth sense for danger. He always seems to know when they're made before it happens. Mick is one of the few people he's never been fully able to predict. He's like a fire that way. How far and hard he'll go? It's all dependant on which way the wind blows.
He know he should be scared, and is, but when Mick kisses him it's the most sense anything's made all day. What they can't express with words they've always been able to do with their mouthes and fists. Mick can have him. Before anyone else they'll always belong to each other.
His hands, which had come up at some point to push at Mick's chest reflexively, fall away to hang by his sides.
Sometimes you have to give up control to earn it again. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ They threw a different kind of party on Mick's birthday. One of their few traditions.
Nothing stayed the same over thirty years. Needs and wants changed. Sometimes it was enough just to be together. Sometimes it wasn't. They'd only gotten more stubborn and set in their ways as they'd gotten older. More flexible in some regards and less flexible in others.
He crosses his legs and glances away. They'd never had to discuss this before. There's no drunkenly kissing your friend when you've got no friends to kiss. ]
I got drunk and kissed Raymond.
no subject
...Huh.
[ Sure, he'd come in last night to find his teammates good and sauced up. He hadn't thought a whole hell of a lot about it considering they'd had drinks as a group before without any incidents ( sans that one time they took pictures of unconscious, topless Ray - but that was different ) and he considered both of the other men lightweights.
Mick straightens up once more, leaning back to observe his partner. His brow furrows. ]
Ok.
[ It was a tone best described as wary, and invited more from the other man. It was almost as if they were about to perform another job after a long, long dry spell. He was waiting for Snart to tell him how things were going to be. ]
no subject
[ It wasn't like they told each other everything. They didn't have to. Only what was important. Necessary.
If Ray had been anyone else it wouldn't have mattered. What was a fling compared to a partnership? If who they slept with could make or break their relationship they would've been over by their twenties. Mick couldn't leave a bar without a bloody knuckles, a hundred dollar tab and a floozy on his arm.
Leonard was pickier. His tastes more refined, or at least more discriminate. Once in a while he'd find somebody worth his time, if only for ten minutes or a night. Definitely not the next morning. He wasn't in the business of making breakfast for people whose names he wouldn't remember without his eidetic memory.
Except he'd woken up beside Ray. Knows Ray. Cares about Ray, despite his best attempts to not give a shit if Ray shrunk into a speck of dust and lost himself in a couch cushion. Ray Palmer was a flea you couldn't get rid of.
He uncrosses his legs and crosses them again, resting an elbow on his knee and his chin on the back of his hand. ]
I wanted to take his mind off it. Do him a favour. I owe him one.
no subject
And that's it?
[ He doesn't think he has to point out that there were ways of taking someone's mind off of their pain that didn't involve kissing them.
If it were anyone else but Ray, it wouldn't have mattered. They've both been around the block over the years, enough to know where home is. But it is Ray, which makes it significant, and Mick is doing his best not to look as threatened as he feels. It's not working out very well for him. ]
no subject
[ They hadn't gone any farther than that. Just that kiss. Long and deep and better than it should have been.
He looks up Mick. It crosses his mind to lie to him. Pull a fast one. Say and do whatever it takes to smother the flames behind Mick's eyes before the fire starts, but they know each other too well. There's no lying to or running from Mick. They've been together too long.
Leonard's tried to leave before, when it got bad. When it felt like anyone and anywhere would be better, Safer, than being with Mick. It never stuck. The grass is always greener when your lawn is burnt to a crisp, but home is home.
Mick is scary. A world without him is scarier. ]
For now.
no subject
Mick's nostrils flare. It's nothing he didn't expect to hear, but it isn't exactly thrilling. How quickly high regard for someone could plummet with the right push; it left a sour taste in the back of his throat like curdled milk, or bile. He swallows, giving a rough little grunt as a way of acknowledgement while his eyes find a place on the wall above Leonard's head to stare at.
His skin begins to prickle with heat, as does his imagination. The table is all too near and easy to flip. Then Mick inhales slowly through his nose, holds his breath for a few beats, and exhales. Sometimes anger collars him and drags him through all kinds of horrors, while other days he's the one holding the leash. Today turns out to be the latter case, though it doesn't mean the feelings leave him.
It just means Mick's capable of keeping his arms crossed as he rounds the table and passes Leonard on the way to the bathroom. It may not, however, save the door from rattling on the hinges when he shuts it. ]
no subject
[Leonard knows better than to follow him. If Mick is putting space between them there's a reason for it. He waits until there's a door between Mick's fist and his face before going after him.]
Ray's done more for us than anyone else ever has. He's the closest thing we've ever had to a-
[He can't quite bring himself to say it. Putting words to what he feels for Ray makes it real. Tangible.
Something that can be mocked, broken and leveraged. Held as a hostage. Wielded like a weapon.]
C'mon, Mick. Like you haven't thought about it.
no subject
no subject
[ The door isn't locked, and he could pick it if it was, but it doesn't hurt to let Mick let off some steam. As long as that steam doesn't turn into smoke, Leonard isn't worried.
He heaves a sigh Mick can't hear and makes himself comfortable against the door. ]
Cause you can't just go over there and beat his ass.
no subject
[ Mick barks at him through the door. It's only a few seconds more and a couple footsteps of warning before he's yanking it open, possibly sending his partner sprawling. He's down his jacket and his shirts, but he's still got his gloves on. On of them reaches to try and snag Snart by his collar. ]
Was that what you were counting on when you did it?
[ His eyes are widened, beginning to fill with some light of madness. ]
Think I've gone soft over some stacked, do-good poindexter because he's nice to us? You're the one that told me he'd sacrifice himself for a stranger.
no subject
[He's barely stumbled back before Mick is yanking him forward. It's easy to forget how big Mick is until he's roaring down into your face, one of those giant mitts just an inch away from grabbing you by the throat. His partner has a good fifty pounds of muscle on him. They might be around the same height, but Mick is almost twice as wide. He could wrap one hand around both of Leonard's wrists.
Leonard doesn't dare look away. His eyes are bright and clear. A little wet. He can't help the grit to his voice, his throat is tight and thick.]
There was no plan, Mick. No one's stuck around this long. I don't have a contingency for this.
[He closes his fingers around the bulk of Mick's forearm. Not pushing, or squeezing- just holding. Grounding.]
All I know is he's been there for me, for us, and I'm sick of feeling like I owe him something. He chose us. Maybe we should think about choosing him.
no subject
By screwing him. You think that'll put us all on even ground...
[ He has no hang-ups when it comes to putting things more bluntly. Of course, now that Leonard has put the idea into his head, Mick can't help but at least begin to imagine it, lowering his gaze and canting his head. It only gets as far as Ray daring to touch his partner back before the pulse in his ears gets too loud and he's growling in the back of his throat, gaze honing back in on his partner.
His hand moves from Leonard's collar and catches that pale throat, sharp and strong enough to hold the other in place but not quite restricting his airway just yet. ]
No.
[ It wasn't as if Mick had any more experience than Leonard when it came to forming real attachments, or any further ideas regarding a solution. He just had a feeling that this wasn't bound to be the same single-use escapade either of them were used to finding outside of the other. Beyond that had nothing to do with reasoning and everything to do with reaffirming what was his. He has to put his foot down.
Before Len can think to argue, his hotheaded partner lowers his head and simultaneously drags him by the throat into a kiss, as rough as it is claiming. ]
no subject
He doesn't think that. After all he owes Ray, one fuck won't make them even. It isn't about the sex. Not really. Mick knows that. It's what neither of them wants to admit to.
That they're not alone anymore. It's not about opening up the bedroom, it's about opening up their hearts- what's left of them. They've fought long and hard to protect those few, damaged pieces that remain. Leonard's frozen. Mick's burned.
Friends aren't something they do. Until Ray, Leonard hadn't thought he was capable of caring for anyone other than Mick and Lisa. His family. His everything. Didn't think he had enough love left for himself, never mind someone he'd only known for a few months. Just a blink of an eye, compared to his thirty something years of Mick.
His heart is pounding too hard. Like it always does before something goes wrong. Leonard's got a sixth sense for danger. He always seems to know when they're made before it happens. Mick is one of the few people he's never been fully able to predict. He's like a fire that way. How far and hard he'll go? It's all dependant on which way the wind blows.
He know he should be scared, and is, but when Mick kisses him it's the most sense anything's made all day. What they can't express with words they've always been able to do with their mouthes and fists. Mick can have him. Before anyone else they'll always belong to each other.
His hands, which had come up at some point to push at Mick's chest reflexively, fall away to hang by his sides.
Sometimes you have to give up control to earn it again. ]